Dean Winchester (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} lovemesomepie) wrote,@ 2008-07-22 16:28:00 |
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YOU
NAME: Dani
AGE: 22
E-MAIL: sad_shy_angel@yahoo.com
AIM: devotedde
TIMEZONE: US CST
OOC JOURNAL: n/a
PREVIOUS RP EXPERIENCE: kingjareth and feelstoomuch at Parabolical, http://dani-muses.insanejournal.com/pro
CHARACTER
NAME: Dean Winchester
FANDOM: Supernatural
AGE: 29
ALIGNMENT (GOOD, EVIL, NEUTRAL): Good, though some might consider him otherwise. He kills things constantly—demons, vampires, others. He’s made mistakes, but he’s sacrificed a good deal to help others, and given selflessly.
BRIEF BACKGROUND SUMMARY: Born January 24, 1979, Dean came into the world kicking and screaming. Even from his youngest days his two biggest loves, food and women, were present. Dean Winchester could use his trademarked smile to get nearly anything he wanted from women of any age, and he could always be counted on to clean his plate. He loved being an only child, having his mother and father dote on him, but that all changed when his little brother Sam was born. Suddenly it was like the missing piece in the puzzle was there, and Dean discovered what his most important job in life would be—being a big brother. The next six months were amazing, with John and Mary enjoying every day with their two sons. Dean learned how to take care of Sammy, even at four years old he would proudly tell everyone all of the things that he could do for his baby brother. Dean would tuck his little brother into bed, and feed Sam bottles, and do everything possible to ensure that he was taken care of. Of course, as he was only four, he wasn’t actually responsible for the child, but no one could ever convince Dean otherwise. From the moment he was born, Sam Winchester had been Dean’s responsibility.
Never was that responsibility more evident than the night of the fire. Though he worried about his father, about his mother who were still inside of the house, when John put little Sammy into his arms, Dean had no choice but to get him to safety. He didn’t know what was going on exactly, but the eerie glow coming from Sammy’s nursery would have been enough to frighten nearly any other child to the point of being ineffective. Not Dean though, he knew he had to do as his father asked, and most of all, to look after Sammy. Later, when he learned that their mother had been killed, he was hurt, as any young boy would be to learn they had lost a parent. He knew that things would never be the same again, and more than anything he missed the mother who adored him. He tried to compensate for Sam’s sake, keeping a closer eye on him. For a long time Dean didn’t say a lot after his mother was died, choosing to keep everything inside. He had to be strong, he told himself, for Sammy.
Life changed for the brothers after Mary was killed. Their father became more and more obsessed by the day with hunting down the thing that killed her and eventually this led to a rather unusual sort of upbringing. Dean and Sam moved around a good deal, waiting and then later helping as their father hunted things. Dean loved exacting revenge on every evil thing that they found, because while he knew it wouldn’t bring their mother back, and while he knew that each demon or spirit or other supernatural thing that they killed wasn’t involved in Mary’s death directly, he was saving someone else’s family from a fate like his. He always did his best, though, to protect Sam from the life that they led, both from the creatures that they hunted as well as the inevitable emotional pain. John Winchester was often busy with hunts and he forgot about holidays, birthdays and the like, and Dean covered for him as best as he could. That was why, when John didn’t show up as he promised in 1991 for Christmas, Dean got the amulet that he constantly wears around his neck. He knew it was meant for his father, and he knew that he should likely convince Sam to give it to him, but for some reason he couldn’t make himself do it, and he accepted it. It has since become one of his most prized possessions. That wasn’t to say that Dean never made mistakes, because he did. He was by no means perfect, not even the perfect big brother, and sometimes he would do something selfish, something that got Sammy in trouble like the night when he was almost killed by the shtriga because Dean had left the room. However, he rarely made the same mistake twice, as he learned from his mistakes and, most of the time, he followed his father’s orders without question. It was safer that way, both for Sammy and for him, and Dean cared about nothing more than keeping his family alive and well.
Because so much of his life revolved around keeping Sam safe, it was hard to see Sam go off to school. The distance between them made Dean worry for his brother, and, though he would never admit it, he missed having Sam around. There were so few people that knew who Dean really was, why he did the things that he did, and Sam did. Sam knew Dean through and through, what symbol he’d always pick in Rock-Paper-Scissors, what he liked, what he didn’t…he was a brother and a friend, if Dean were being honest (which he rarely was). Sam and his father had fought on a number of occasions, but there was something about their last fight that left Dean with a sense of foreboding. John had told Sam not to come back, and that meant for years Dean didn’t get to see Sam. It didn’t stop him from stopping by Stanford whenever they had a hunt near the university, it didn’t stop him from checking in on his little brother without Sam’s knowledge, but it did stop them from seeing one another, and that was hard.
Which is why, when their father disappeared, Dean went to Sam for help. Instinctively he knew that if their father had wanted to be found, he would have left more clues, but Dean refused to give up. He was certain that Sam, with his college education, could find help him find John quickly. He even allowed himself to be foolish enough to think that they could find their father before Sam’s appointment for law school. It was also a damned good excuse to see his little brother again. When they didn’t find John, Dean was disappointed to hear that Sam was going back to his typical all-American life, although not surprised. Sam belonged to that sort of life, and Dean couldn’t make himself stop Sam from getting what he deserved.
He dropped Sam off at his apartment, but something made him stay in town. Something felt wrong, and hunting demons his whole life had taught Dean to rely on his instincts. He turned back to the apartment instead of heading out of town, and was there just in time to save Sam from another burning building. The demon that had taken their mother from them had pinned Sam’s girlfriend to the ceiling as well before lighting her on fire, and Dean had to all but drag Sam from the flames. It was the start of their journey together.
At first the road they took was as much about rediscovering their bond as brothers as it was about finding their father. Each hunt brought them closer, taught them things, reminded them of their past. Sam was often horrified at Dean’s lack of respect for police officers, as it got them in trouble on multiple occasions, and Dean was often shocked that Sam’s awkward puppy dog eyes could win him the ladies again and again. They fought each other in silly arguments and then guarded one another fiercely when they fought things straight from hell. By the time they actually DID find John Winchester, Dean was convinced he had his family together again. However, unfortunately it was not meant to be. After finding the yellow-eyed demon, the Winchesters were involved in a car crash while Sam was driving his injured father and brother to the hospital. Dean was dying after the injuries he sustained both in the crash and from the demon, but John offered his life as a bargain for his son’s.
That would have been hard enough for Dean, to lose his father figure, the man he had idolized his whole life, but the last thing John said to him haunted him more than anything. If he couldn’t save Sam, his father said that he would have to kill him. The idea of not saving Sam was almost ludicrous, as Dean had protected him his entire life, but the fact that his father thought that such a thing was possible was more frightening. For a long time he kept his father’s words to himself, not wanting to hurt Sam, or make Sam angry at their father’s memory. Most of all, he didn’t want to scare his little brother. The more that they discovered on their travels about ‘extraordinary’ kids like Sam, the ones with powers, the more Dean was frightened. Some of these kids were enough to scare the hell out of Dean, like Max, the boy with telekinesis who killed his whole family, while others seemed relatively benign. Dean never could see Sam turn into a monster, but the thought that John could frightened him.
Still pursuing the yellow-eyed demon and every other evil creature they could find, Dean and Sam also encountered a close support group. Jo and Ellen Harvelle, Ash, and other hunters at The Roadhouse open a whole new underground of hunters to the brothers, and on several occasions they worked with them to deal with a particular hunt.
Dean’s worst fear was realized when Sam was possessed by a demon. Not knowing at first what was going on, Dean tried to sort out the pieces himself, and, later when he knew for certain what was happeneing, he decided to handle the matter himself without outsider’s help, not even Jo’s. Sam was his brother, his responsibility, and, foolishly, he didn’t want anyone else to be involved. Believing that Sam’s ‘evil’ side might have taken over, Dean was faced with little choice but to shoot him, but in the end he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He never could force himself to believe that his Sam isn’t in there somewhere. Thankfully, Sam was saved, but the fear remained very real for Dean, that one day he might not be able to save his brother.
That day came to pass all too quickly. Stopping at a small diner, Dean made the mistake of sending Sam in alone, and he came to regret it. Sam was captured by a demon who murdered everyone else in the diner, and Dean could find no clue of where his little brother had been taken. He and Bobby searched with little luck, until somehow Dean received a ‘psychic’ vision of where Sam was that included a clue that thankfully left Bobby with a good idea of where Sam was. One long drive and Dean found his brother. He saw Sam walking toward him and he let his guard down for a split second. He dropped the beam of his flashlight, slowed his step and let his shoulders sag in relief, and in that instant another one of the “chosen” attacked Sam. The knife wound was cruel and efficient, Sam was dead in a matter of moments. Again he closed him and Sam off from everyone else, like an injured animal protecting itself. He wouldn’t even let Bobby stay with them, help him make arrangements to deal with Sam’s body. It was a family matter, he decided, he would deal with it.
The only problem was, he didn’t know how to deal with it. He didn’t know how to face a life without Sam in it. Sam with the only family he had left, his brother and friend, the person he had been protecting his entire life. One stupid mistake on his part was all it took to lose him, and somehow that felt unfair. Dean didn’t even know how to begin facing life without his little brother.
Without really thinking through the consequences of his actions, Dean drove toward the first crossroads that he could find. He had to make the pain stop somehow, had to give Sam a second chance. Dean thought that the demon would give him ten good years more with his brother, more than enough to experience life and raise a little hell in the process, but because of his life as a hunter, he only got a single year.
It was worth it to go back to the bare mattress where he laid Sam’s body to find it bare, and his brother awake. Alive. He tried to keep the truth from Sam, telling him that he had been ‘patched up’ but the truth soon came out when the soldier who had killed Sam looked like he had seen a ghost and told Sam he had cut through his spinal cord. The gates to hell opening, seeing their father’s ghost again all too briefly, learning that they had thousands of demons to hunt down in their last year, none of it was as painful as the talk that he had to have with Sam. The way that Sam’s voice broke when he asked how long Dean had bartered his life for hurt, because he was supposed to protect Sam and for the first time he got a glimpse of how this deal would hurt him, but it was too late to back out. Dean couldn’t back out, because no matter how much Sam had to hurt to see him die, at least Sam would live.
Refusing to do anything to weasel out of the deal in order to protect Sam, Dean prepared to have the best year of his life. He took risks that Sam thought were insane—some risks that he might have thought crazy months ago before his life was a ticking timebomb—he killed as many evil things as he could and even had his first real Christmas celebration in years. He was just as aware as Sam about his date with the hellhounds coming ever closer and closer, but he flinched away whenever Sam brought it up. He didn’t want to hurt Sam, and he didn’t want to give his brother any information that he could use to get Dean out of the deal. Dean didn’t WANT out of the deal because he could think of no solution that got him out and left Sam living. However, as the months flew by and the day got closer and closer, he allowed Sam to meddle a bit more, to try to find loopholes. Dean didn’t want to die. He was healthy, he loved life, and he hadn’t really even began to live yet. He didn’t have a family (something he became painfully aware of when he thought, briefly, that Ben was his son) he hadn’t finished his work as a hunter, he had so much left to do in life that it seemed unfair. And, as much as he joked about it, he didn’t want to go to hell. He feared becoming a demon, feared what would happen if his humanity was burned away to the point where even Sam wouldn’t recognize him. Sam promised him that he would save him from hell, and for a while Dean clung to it.
On his last day, as the minutes ticked closer, Dean realized what he had to do. He had to once again protect Sammy, prevent him from going to unimaginable lengths for his older brother’s sake. He couldn’t let Sam become one of them, couldn’t let him follow Ruby’s orders. Dean had to accept that the blame for this laid solely on his shoulders, and he had to follow through with his side of the bargain.
The hellhounds ripped him to shreds, a process that took less than a minute but was painful enough to feel like much, much longer. All of his bravado was no use to him as there was no pretending that their attack didn’t hurt. He couldn’t put on a show for Sam’s sake any longer. When the attack was done, Dean was left in a situation that felt very hellish. He was alone, hurt, bleeding, suspended by what felt like meat hooks imbedded in his flesh. The time he has spent there feels like a lifetime, though in reality it’s only been a few months. LA will be a welcome change to him, and he’ll be eager to find his ‘baby’ (his 1967 Chevy Impala), find his brother, and find a few beautiful women to entertain himself, though not necessarily in that order.
PB: Jensen Ackles
JOURNAL USERNAME: lovemesomepie
WAS THIS CHARACTER HELD FOR YOU? Yes